magic on welfare and percocet

The key to performing magic card tricks is to be on:

  1. you’re on welfare, and
  2. you’re high on percocet

The best magic card tricks I’ve seen ever were performed today on Granville Street by some crazy mumbling guy with no teeth high on “perc”. Several card tricks later I gave him two bucks and so did “gangbang” stammler. He was a pretty dope trickster.

He was wearing sketchy latex gloves and he shook my hand, “gangbang” didn’t want to touch him. In fact he reached out his hand and “gangbang” kinda said in no uncertain terms that it grossed him out and no thanks. I loved his story about the forgetting to put his insoles in his boots and how somone stole his other shoes “but thats ok because welfare will be getting me some new ones next week”.

Plus he popped a whole bunch of perc’s because they got wet.

All in all a good shoe and he told us that if we saw him hustling we should get his back and cheer him on and we agreed to which he reached out his hand in a fist and I gave him homie pounds.

PS. Derek’s new nickname is “Gangbang” for no real apparent reason.

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